Shake it off, shake it off…
Self Love is our first and last love & this song ‘Shake It Off’ by my favourite Taylor Swift speaks my mind.
I never fitted in the standards that our society has set for being ‘beautiful’. Being dusky with average features and glasses is hardly what one will call a pretty girl. My friend was fair and was pleasant to look at. Even though we were always together, I could never shake off the feeling that she is getting compliments, getting noticed while I was just ‘her friend’.
Not just looks, I never felt confident about any of my capabilities. I was always shy about saying what I wanted. My parents didn’t pay attention to this thing and never really encouraged me to speak up. In my home, we did what our father said and that was it. I was so timid that I kept doing things, I didn’t actually want. I got my real voice only after marriage but wasn’t able to shake off the feeling of not being able to realize my potential in the direction I wanted.
And then came motherhood with a whole new set of expectations and dos and don’ts. They said that babywearing is bad for baby’s bones. They said that you should have continued breastfeeding your baby till she was 3. They said that you should have lost all the pregnancy weight in a year. Initially, I went crazy thinking about everything that I had to do and the person I had to become. I couldn’t shake off the feeling of not being the ‘perfect mom’ we see on Internet and everywhere in media.
Still, somewhere I knew that I will get around to doing this mom-thing in a way that suited me and my family. I knew because I had already dealt with a society biased towards ‘beauty’ and that wanted me to do what I was ‘supposed to do’. This slowly yet constantly increasing confidence didn’t come overnight. It came when I started feeling comfortable in my own skin. It came when I made peace with my appearance. It came when I left my ‘secure’ job and explored opportunities that interested me. It came when I saw my daughter growing well and turning into a clingy toddler. Yes, even a nerve-wracking toddler is a sign that you are a great mother because the baby trusts you completely. This all contributed to my realization of Self Love.
I am dancing on my own and many times with my daughter in my arms (clinginess!) but the music in my mind says that it’s going to be alright. And I trust that music now because right now I am the most self-assured, I have ever been. This is Self Love and I am proud to be moving in the right direction. I am never going to be perfect but I am just right so Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake…
I shake it off, I shake it off.
Do you practice Self Love?
I thank Priyanka Sehgal who blogs at https://mommynshanaya.wordpress.com for introducing me. She is a dear friend who writes about things close to her heart on her blog. I would also take the opportunity to introduce Sthuti Panigrahy Singh who blogs at https://mommyaccountsays.wordpress.com.
It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 30 other bloggers, am celebrating Women’s Day with a twist. This post is a part of #UnapologeticGirlz Blogathon hosted by @mylittlemuffin_mom @mommyvoyage and @themomsagas, sponsored by @kaurageousyou.