The life of a mom and tiredness are mostly inseparable. Yesterday, a mom sent me a DM asking how I am not tired while she feels dull in just an hour. The mom in question is really young and has an almost 2 year old baby.
I responded by saying that even I am tired all the time but her question was how she can come out of it. Such a thing is somewhat difficult to answer as every mom lives in different circumstances. For me, in the first year of motherhood, I hired a cook while a cleaning lady was always there. I don’t have to give breakfast and lunch to the husband as he gets it all in the office. When the baby is small there is no real mess to take care of so I managed despite several meltdowns that happened purely because I was learning to be a mom. And yes, I left my work-from-home job to avoid exhaustion.
Recently, I have let my cook go as Idhaya plays independently for some time and I can cook for two people then. I just cook the basics nothing fancy. Don’t get fooled though as many of these simple meals are cooked while Idhaya is clinging to my leg. Still, with not much to do, I manage to take a little rest here and there. I sleep by 10:30 mostly and wake up by 6 to go for a walk. It helps that Idhaya sleeps through the night and is completely weaned off breastfeeding.
It can still get tiring as I have to be on my toes with a toddler but following things help-
Eating Well- Eat fresh and healthy food. Don’t compromise on this however busy or tired you are. I am not suggesting anything fancy, just normal home-cooked food that you eat. Ask your doctor and include some supplements as well. Some people say that supplements are not essential. They aren’t but they help a lot especially if you are a mother.
Off-loading- Or sharing your work whether it’s with hired help, your husband or any other member of the family. Ask for help from family and if they deny, do only as much as you can. Don’t try to make everyone happy.
Letting it be- Mess can wait, peace of mind can’t. Don’t try to keep your house spick and span all the time. It will come crashing down anyway when you have a baby. Give your time to only the things that need immediate attention.
Cutting off- When Idhaya sleeps, I go in hibernation mode too. I completely forget that there’s so much to do. In her nap-time, I only do the things that make me happy. There are exceptions sometimes but only when something is really important. If possible, leave the baby at home and go out alone even it’s for just an hour.
Staying Happy- This coming from a person who always finds a reason to sulk is kind of groundbreaking. Trust me, it helps. It’s not easy to be happy when there is so much around to drive you crazy but now I am learning to smile at Idhaya’s antics whether she breaks something or spills water or poops in her nappy during her diaper free time. I feel that you have to deal with it anyway so why not do it calmly. My husband has noticed this change and keeps complimenting me. Keep distance from negative and judgmental people. They don’t deserve your attention so don’t let them get to you. Simply brush off the things that you don’t like.
And you know what will work best? Chuck all the advice, dance without music while folding the laundry or sing at the top of your voice. Sounds weird but it’s fun and makes you feel lighter.
Tiredness is not just physical but also mental so channel your energies only on the important things. Life feels lighter and happier this way.
The Reluctant Mom