Seriously, I am not into learning things I don’t want to but somehow mommyhood has managed to teach me few needed and many not needed lessons. Some are of the life-skill variety and others are just there because I had no idea what motherhood comprises of. I have learnt funny and the not so funny realities but mind you I haven’t mastered any of these. So let’s see exactly What Motherhood Has Taught Me-
A mother is supposed to be really patient but I’m sure that most of us are not built that way. We are not born with patience (have you ever seen a really accommodating baby?) and it comes only with experience. I am lucky to have an embodiment of tolerance in my husband and he’s the one who pointed out that being impatient is one of my shortcomings.
Then came Idhaya who drives me crazy with her antics and there is little I can do about it. The only option I have is to learn the art of patience. I yell at her but not as much as I would have yelled at another baby doing the same things so it’s progress.
2.Mess and happiness can live together
This coming from an organization freak is a scandalous statement! I don’t have ‘before’ pictures with me or I would’ve shared a ‘before and after’ scenario of my home. My home now basically looks like a garbage dump but you know what, I have to turn a blind eye towards it. What Motherhood Has Taught Me is to look beyond such things. The reason being I don’t get much time to myself and whatever precious ‘me time’ I get is for doing things that are just for myself like Instagram, online shopping or reading. And so we live happily in a messy house.
Not that I don’t love my husband and honestly I still love him a little more than Idhaya (sorry baby!). The difference is that in motherly love, I only give without getting any favours. Loving unconditionally is What Motherhood Has Taught Me. Please don’t tell me that her smile and happiness is what I get because for me it’s a by-product of what I do for her.
Ha! So this is another life-skill that I am trying to imbibe. My current level of unselfishness is putting Idhaya’s needs before mine and giving her my rabbit soft toy that I have kept very carefully since last 5 years.
Want to asses my progress? Asses my confidence because it’s the most important of the things What Motherhood Has Taught Me. I have risen above people-pleasing and judgments after becoming a mom. I would add that my frequency of judging others has also come down drastically.
Letting go of things that won’t matter in a few years from now What Motherhood Has Taught Me. It makes your mind free and I have felt it lately. Initially when Idhaya won’t sleep and I rocked her, I used to think that she will get habitual of this but I carried on thinking that it will continue for a maximum of three years or so. Guess what? She doesn’t need to be rocked to fall asleep anymore. When she’s sleepy, I simply lay her next to me and enjoy her happy smile before she falls asleep on her own.
7.There is no best way to mother
Oh yes and many moms will agree with me (though my mom never will) on this. Your mothering style is unique and what works for you is the best (don’t be abusive though!).
8.I am amazing
I still can’t believe that I have not only become pregnant, given birth but have even managed to raise a baby on my own. With a lot of help from the Internet of-course but I am so proud of myself.
9.Sleep is not mandatory
Idhaya used to wake up every 2-3 hours till 3-4 months of age but luckily she almost always went back to sleep after feeding. Now she wakes up just once at night that too because of hunger. There are off days but mostly it’s great. Now, for a sleepyhead like me, waking up at odd hours wasn’t easy but now I’m habitual of it. I have realized that I can do with interrupted sleep.
This is What Motherhood Has Taught Me. What are your Learnings From Motherhood?
The Reluctant Mom18