world menstrual hygiene day 28 may

From Cloth to Cloth Pads- My Menstrual Hygiene Learning Curve

This World Menstrual Hygiene Day (May 28th), our endeavour is to break the taboo that engulfs this natural phenomenon that is the basis of very existence of human life on earth. This post is a part of a Blog Train hosted by Anupriya of www.mommytincture.com where 14 wonderful ladies (including yours truly) have stepped forward to express themselves this #MenstrualHygieneDay and stress on the fact that there are #NoMoreLimits for a woman. I would like to thank Yogita from http://www.directingdreams.com for introducing me. Yogita is a wonderful poetess who has intended to bring smile on people’s faces.

Menstruation is a taboo subject in many Indian households and my house was no different. My mom never told me or my sister anything about it. Thankfully, I found an article about it in a magazine and asked mom but she was reluctant to talk about it.

world menstrual hygiene day

And then the day came when I was about 14 years old. I got my period and very shyly told mommy about it. Then I was introduced to a combination of cloth and pads to get me through those 5 days. Luckily mommy didn’t believe in washing those clothes and we just threw them.

Better quality pads were considered expensive so I carried on like that for almost 9 years and then I got a job. I immediately switched to Ultra pads and have been using them since.

Now there are many other options available for menstrual hygiene. I have always been scared of tampons so when eco-friendly menstrual cups arrived in the scene, I was wary and have not been able to convince myself to use them.

Cloth pads are also available easily which are again better for our environment but the question is of washing. I am considering using them though or at least give them a try on the days when I know that I will find time to wash them.

world menstruation day

The other Menstrual Hygiene steps that I follow are washing hands with soap every time I go to pee. I change my pad every four to five hours and wash my vaginal area with water often. Once a day I use a vaginal wash like any other day.

This World Menstrual Hygiene Day, I just intend to keep following the simple steps I use already and am gonna get myself cloth pads.

So, this is what I have learnt in so many years and have chosen what suits me. What do you do for menstrual hygiene?

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce Neha Mani Mishra of  http://www.nehammishra.com . Neha is a full time mom to a three year old girl. She shares many useful tips to help fellow mommies on her blog. Head to her blog to read the next post in this Blog Train.

But wait there’s more! You stand a chance to win a DEA Corp Menstrual Cup worth Rs. 2500/-. You just have to visit http://www.mommytincture.com/2018/05/27/menstrual-cups-boon-menstrual-hygiene/ and leave a comment about your #NoMoreLimits experience.

Love

The Reluctant Mom

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its ok to not be a yummy mummy

It’s OK to Not Be a Yummy Mummy

There are so many ways to categorize moms but the most coveted tag is that of a Yummy Mummy. It simply means a mother who is attractive and stylish. The tag looks harmless and it indeed is until and unless there is a pressure on mommies to look a certain way. As if the unrealistic images of models were not enough, now we are bombarded with images of mothers who are not only thin and glamorous but also have their lives in control.

btr

These days every other mom wants to look like Kareena Kapoor or her favourite mommy blogger. What these moms forget is that there is no need to fit in every mould there is. Each one of us is unique, beautiful and totally awesome. You can be plus size or a size zero, you may afford expensive photo shoots or you may not, you may always be well turned out or you may not; none of this adds anything or takes away from your motherhood.

About ‘lives in control’ part- some people do it better than others but again this doesn’t make others worse off. If you have a baby who is a total angel, that’s great and others whose babies are like mine, lower your expectations. No havoc will be wreaked if your little one tastes salt or sugar before age 1, their mental development will not be hampered with those few minutes of screen-time, speech-problems are unlikely just because your 3 years old is still on a bottle, you certainly don’t have to read daily to your babies to turn them into readers, not everything that touches your baby has to be organic and so on.

5 things I want my daughter to learn

The best we can do is not judge any mom or anyone else for that matter. Don’t be nasty just because she posts beautiful pictures shot by a pro. Don’t bring her down because she posts pixelated images. A super-fit mom has worked hard on her body while a not so shapely mom doesn’t has this in her list of priorities. Just do your thing and let others do theirs.

The list of dos and don’ts for moms is so long that I am sure that even the creator of the list won’t be able to find the head and tail of it. So just chill while you can as your little one is about to wake up from their nap!

What do you think of the Yummy Mummy phenomenon?

Love

The Reluctant Mom

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What Is In My Toddler Survival Kit?

Have you ever heard of such a thing before? Maybe you have, maybe you haven’t but the point is that all toddler-moms have a survival kit which is essential to keep them sane especially when they are out of the house. For me, I can manage at home but as soon as I am out, I need to be sure that I have some essentials with me. It doesn’t matter whether I am going out for a few hours or for a few days.

My Toddler-survival kit is made of my diaper bag. Now let’s take a sneak peek at the contents. Diapers don’t count as the bag isn’t call a ‘diaper’ bag for no reason. Here’s what I have to carry when I Travel With Toddler-

1. Baby Carrier

Babywearing is my thing and it’s essential for me and Idhaya whether at home or out and about. I love my Soul Slings Full Buckle Standard Soft Structured Baby Carrier to the core and I am sure that even though she can’t speak yet, Idhaya loves it too. If I am going out alone, carrier is the most important thing for me.

travel with toddlers

Even if I am going out with the husband, Soul Baby Carrier is a must. We both take turns in carrying her if we have to walk a lot and carrying a baby in Soul Full Buckle is easy. It saves a lot of trouble and we get to enjoy our outings when we Travel With Toddler.

2. Wet Wipes

travel with a baby

Ask any mom and she will tell you that she has at least one pack of wet-wipes in her bag. These little things come handy whether Idhaya spits food, pukes in the car, gets dirt all over herself and obviously when she poops.

3.Extra Clothes

travel with toddlers blog

And socks. For the reasons mentioned above, I have to carry at least one pair of fresh clothes for my little monster. You never know what catastrophe is in the making by these innocent little ones. I would suggest taking two extra sets of clothes when you Travel With Toddlers.

4. Food and Water

travel with toddlers

Even if you are OK with giving outside food to your little one like me, you need to carry some snacks and sometimes even a full-fledged meal. Hunger strikes these little tornadoes at odd times and a parent has got to be ready. Water has to be carried for obvious reasons.

5.Toys

what's in my toddler survival kit

Mind You, it cannot be any toy rather a toy she hasn’t seen in in the last one month or so otherwise there is no chance for it to succeed in the throes of tantrums. So, I carry 1-2 toys that she likes but have been kept away for just the moments of need. It helps a lot in Travel With Toddler as they get occupied. Sometimes, a break of 10 minutes is all you need.

What do you carry when you Travel With Toddler?

Love

The Reluctant Mom

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I Love My Husband More than My Daughter

So finally, I get to say it! For starters, I don’t have to worry about him falling from the bed (or maybe I have to :P). On our wedding anniversaries, I write letters to my husband which are basically all the good things that he has done in that year. When I was pregnant, I wrote that he will always be my first priority. Easier said than done as babies are not only attention seekers, they actually need it.

i love my husband more than anything

Obviously, I have to keep Idhaya’s needs on top these days and Mr. TRM18 has been sidelined. We both barely get to speak to each other a sentence which is not about her- her food, savings for her, shopping for her, diaper changes, potty training, bedtime and everything in between. It so happens that I find many opportunities to want to punch him or at least scream (I choose screaming). Yet, I Love My Husband More than My Daughter.

why you should love husband more than kids

When I come out of all the chaos, the first thought is always his. I think about all the mean things I said to him in the last 24 hours and he took it silently (or with some opposition). I think about the time when it was just the two of us and I used to be this clueless kid, to him I still am his big baby, who had no idea how to behave in groups or how to speak to new people and even how to talk to elders. He has shaped me into a socially acceptable human being.

Not that it’s ambiguous, my husband is the reason I even thought of having a baby, leave alone conceiving her. Without him, I wouldn’t be sitting at my dining table typing this post 😀 And that’s why I Love My Husband More than My Daughter.

I Love My Husband More than My Daughter

The question of who you love more is always tricky and picking either your spouse or children seems impossible. To some, it may even seem silly but my choice is clear even though he leads by just 1 point.

Can you pick a favourite between your better half and your kids? I Love My Husband More than My Daughter. Are you also partial to your spouse?

Love

The Reluctant Mom18

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9 Learnings of A One Year Old Mom

Seriously, I am not into learning things I don’t want to but somehow mommyhood has managed to teach me few needed and many not needed lessons. Some are of the life-skill variety and others are just there because I had no idea what motherhood comprises of. I have learnt funny and the not so funny realities but mind you I haven’t mastered any of these. So let’s see exactly What Motherhood Has Taught Me-

1.Patience

A mother is supposed to be really patient but I’m sure that most of us are not built that way. We are not born with patience (have you ever seen a really accommodating baby?) and it comes only with experience. I am lucky to have an embodiment of tolerance in my husband and he’s the one who pointed out that being impatient is one of my shortcomings.

Then came Idhaya who drives me crazy with her antics and there is little I can do about it. The only option I have is to learn the art of patience. I yell at her but not as much as I would have yelled at another baby doing the same things so it’s progress.

What Motherhood Has Taught Me

2.Mess and  happiness can live together

This coming from an organization freak is a scandalous statement! I don’t have ‘before’ pictures with me or I would’ve shared a ‘before and after’ scenario of my home. My home now basically looks like a garbage dump but you know what, I have to turn a blind eye towards it. What Motherhood Has Taught Me is to look beyond such things. The reason being I don’t get much time to myself and whatever precious ‘me time’ I get is for doing things that are just for myself like Instagram, online shopping or reading. And so we live happily in a messy house.

3.Love

Not that I don’t love my husband and honestly I still love him a little more than Idhaya (sorry baby!). The difference is that in motherly love, I only give without getting any favours. Loving unconditionally is What Motherhood Has Taught Me. Please don’t tell me that her smile and happiness is what I get because for me it’s a by-product of what I do for her.

what motherhood feels like

4.Unselfishness

Ha! So this is another life-skill that I am trying to imbibe. My current level of unselfishness is putting Idhaya’s needs before mine and giving her my rabbit soft toy that I have kept very carefully since last 5 years.

5.Confidence

Want to asses my progress? Asses my confidence because it’s the most important of the things What Motherhood Has Taught Me. I have risen above people-pleasing and judgments after becoming a mom. I would add that my frequency of judging others has also come down drastically.

6.Letting Go

Letting go of things that won’t matter in a few years from now What Motherhood Has Taught Me. It makes your mind free and I have felt it lately. Initially when Idhaya won’t sleep and I rocked her, I used to think that she will get habitual of this but I carried on thinking that it will continue for a maximum of three years or so. Guess what? She doesn’t need to be rocked to fall asleep anymore. When she’s sleepy, I simply lay her next to me and enjoy her happy smile before she falls asleep on her own.

mommy blog india

7.There is no best way to mother

Oh yes and many moms will agree with me (though my mom never will) on this. Your mothering style is unique and what works for you is the best (don’t be abusive though!).

8.I am amazing

I still can’t believe that I have not only become pregnant, given birth but have even managed to raise a baby on my own. With a lot of help from the Internet of-course but I am so proud of myself.

9.Sleep is not mandatory

Idhaya used to wake up every 2-3 hours till 3-4 months of age but luckily she almost always went back to sleep after feeding. Now she wakes up just once at night that too because of hunger. There are off days but mostly it’s great. Now, for a sleepyhead like me, waking up at odd hours wasn’t easy but now I’m habitual of it. I have realized that I can do with interrupted sleep.

This is What Motherhood Has Taught Me. What are your Learnings From Motherhood?

Love

The Reluctant Mom18

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Soul Slings Full Buckle Standard Soft Structured Baby Carrier Review

It’s been more than 7 months since I jumped on to the Babywearing band wagon and the ride has been amazing. I and Idhaya enjoyed the experience from the very first time. Babywearing has got me through long walks, work-from-home and even household chores. It’s just me and baby at home throughout the day so it’s natural for her to get clingy but thanks to Babywearing, I have sailed through.

soulslings full buckle baby carrier review

Here, I am not only reviewing the much loved Soul Slings Full Buckle Standard Soft Structured Baby Carrier but will also be sharing tidbits of my Babywearing experience. Let me clarify that the carrier was sent by the brand for review but be assured that you will be given a completely honest opinion.

What Soul Says about their Full Buckle (Standard) SSC

Weight recommendation : 7-18 kg (15-40 lb) approx
Seat width : 15.5 inches
Body panel height :17 inches
Fibre : Pure 100% cotton, plain weave.
Adjustments :2-way shoulder adjustment + PFA + sliding back/chest straps
Tested for :ASTM F2236

Soul Slings Full Buckles are lightweight, breathable and very comfortable baby carriers. Made completely out of 100% natural fibres, they are ideal for all climates. These highly adjustable carriers fit users ranging from petite to ‘plus sizes’! Buckles make them quick and hassle-free. These are sturdy soft structured carriers (SSC) that have been designed to carry your baby in an ergonomic and natural position. They distribute the weight of the baby evenly on your own body, and can be worn in front and back carries.

Price- INR 5,750/-

My Review of Soul Full Buckle Standard Soft Structured Baby Carrier

The variant I got is ‘Heal’. It’s bright orange with red accents. I got this one because it pops beautifully against my mostly pastel wardrobe. There are many more beautiful colours to choose from.

soul slings review

This Soul SSC can be used for both front and back carry. I prefer front carrying and it helps that my daughter is quite light which means not much strain on back. I wear her on back only when I have to to something in kitchen but yes nothing involving tempering or other potentially hazardous things.

Idhaya is one year old and is always at complete ease while being worn in Soul Full Buckle Standard. I will any day prefer full buckles to any other kind of carriers because these are so easy to be worn. Wearing baby in front carry takes just about a minute once all the straps are adjusted to your size. You won’t need anyone’s help in wearing your baby.

soul slings carrier review

Soul Slings Full Buckle (Standard) gives complete support to my weak back and I have walked almost 2 kilometers in one go while wearing Idhaya in it. The carrier is not only beautiful but is also very sturdy. The shoulder straps have 3-way adjustments for ease of use and are well padded for your comfort. Even the waistband is well padded and is broad enough for good support. Despite all the padding, Soul Slings Full Buckle Baby Carrier is quite light in weight.

Soul slings baby carrier review
Thick shoulder pads and 3-way adjustable shoulder straps

The Soul SSC is made of 100% breathable cotton so my girl doesn’t feel hot in it. The thigh pads keep her even cosier. Idhaya sits in the optimum M-position in this carrier and gets knee-to-knee coverage easily. The carrier is big enough so even older kids will be snug and in ergonomic position.

The Soul Slings Full Buckle Baby Carrier has an attached hood which can be used to protect the baby from sun, wind and light drizzle. It’s also intended to be useful while breastfeeding though I haven’t tried it that way. The hood though useful is not the easiest to use or maybe I am doing it wrong. Except this little drawback, I can’t find another fault in this sleek and stylish baby carrier.

soul slings baby carrier

Soul Slings Full Buckle SSC comes with a detailed User Manual that has pictorials on how to carry your baby and other important instructions. You can also check out Soul’s YouTube channel for video tutorials about Baby Wearing.

I find this Soul Baby Carrier to be safe, stylish and a complete value for money product. If you love Babywearing, you will love it more with this carrier and if you want to start wearing your little one, Soul Slings Full Buckle Carrier is an ideal choice. They have many other varieties of baby carriers and cute products for you and baby. I totally recommend checking out their website- https://soulslings.com

Do you also enjoy Babywearing? I would love to know your experience.

Love

The Reluctant Mom18

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3 Reasons Why I Don’t Want to be A Mom Once Again

I can give you hundreds of reasons for not wanting to have another baby but I don’t have time to write that much because the baby will nap for just 30 minutes.

Even before my blog happened, I used to think that if I write my autobiography, I’ll name it ‘The Reluctant Mom’ :D. But again, who would want to read the life story of a lesser mortal yet I started blogging.

Anyway, these days every other person I see is like- have the second one soon as your biological clock is ticking. I say that I don’t want to and then get to hear that you will want to in a few years. The most popular reason to have another baby is to give company to the first one. People say that you won’t be there forever and who will support Idhaya then. It’s also said that single kids are self-centered but I don’t believe in that as I have seen enough single children who are perfectly nice.

edf

Some day, I might lose my mind and agree with all these arguments and so I decided to write down this post. It will act as a reminder to keep me away from making the disastrous decision. The things that make me Not Wanting Second Baby are summarized here.

1.Body Troubles

My pregnancy was smooth apart from the backache in the last trimester which ensured that I couldn’t turn easily while sleeping. Then came the excruciating labour pain and finally the delivery. Don’t get me started on episiotomy and the uneasiness that lasted for 15 days every time I wanted to sit after lying down for a while.

Weight gain and protruding tummy are total deal breakers and make my resolve of Not Wanting Second Baby even firmer. I am working on my body and I don’t want to undo the hard-work by going back there.

I don’t have in-laws living with me so even though I have a part-time maid and a cook, I don’t get much respite. Many times, I have to hold Idhaya in one arm while doing some chore or the other. My left hand is in constant pain. Baby-wearing comes to rescue in such situations but I would prefer being free.

rpt

2.Mind Games

Worrying about Idhaya all the time has given me mom-brain which has resulted in forgetfulness of the next level. I get up in the morning and the first thought is what I will give my daughter in various meals today. When I was not a mom, this was last of my worries but now preparing food for her while she clings to my leg and wails is plain torture for both of us.

I have to watch her like a hawk lest she harms herself or creates a catastrophe in the house. Not Wanting Second Baby seems like the best option otherwise after becoming a watchman, I’ll have to become an umpire too 😛

My house is a mess and it drives me crazy as I am an organization-freak. I hate the current state of my home but there is little I can do.

Why I Don't Want to be A Mom Once Again

3.Affordability

Not to forget the all important financial point, we can’t give the same lifestyle to another child. And more importantly, I don’t want to compromise on her education. We are a middle class family and can afford only one child going to a posh school and her higher education at an international destination. With two children, we’ll either have to compromise on this or will have to forget about our own desires. Not Wanting Second Baby surely seems like a wise decision when I think of this.

Simply put, I don’t want to spend all my time, energy and money on kids. I have my own life and want to focus on myself. With one more baby, as soon as I am out of all the current mess, I’ll be pulled back in a vortex of s**t. With two kids, I might forget to live my life and become like my own parents who worked only for their three kids and now none of us lives with them.

I don’t want to appear depressing but giving my best is possible only if I have just one child. Some might call me selfish but I have always been like this despite being raised with two other siblings 😛

What do you think about Not Wanting Second Baby?

Love

The Reluctant Mom18

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